Ever had a conversation with a 2nd line Profile person like this:
Q-Wanna go to the new Tom Cruise movie? A- Not really.
Q- OK, how about that program on X? A- Nope, don’t find that all that interesting.
Q- Well then, what about the neighborhood block party? A- Uhn Uhn. Couldn’t care less about that.
(In frustration) OK, I give up. (You can fill in with some typical responses to the 2nd line person, but here are some you may recognize):
– You don’t like anything
– You’re impossible, too much work, too high maintenance, etc.
– OK, you tell me what you want or ‘call me when there is something you’re up for’
This conversation can occur over and over again in any area of a 2’s life where they have preferences. If they don’t ‘care about it’ they might actually just go along, not ‘caring one way or another.’ Now you may be saying to yourself “Well wouldn’t that be true for anyone?” It’s true that other profiles may also have preferences or seem more easy-going or cooperative (e.g., 3’s who may well be up for the new experience, loving the fun connections, etc., 4’s who might not want to alienate their network, etc.)
For the 2’s however, it’s a really big deal and a crucial protective mechanism. It’s really important that 2’s forego (say no to) anything that does not call or appeal to them.
If the 2nd line person is operating correctly, they’ll do it all over the place. 2nd line Profiles might be ‘picky’ about anything they could make a decision about, to include:
– food–the kind, ethnicity, texture, spice, preparation, etc.
– activities–conversation topics, kinds of entertainment, locations/venues, noise levels, crowds, etc.
– people–includes choices of friends, family, partners or loved ones, associates, etc. and may be situational and involve any of the other elements
– projects–work-related, family task, volunteer job, etc.
– help or contribution–cause, amount, timing, etc.
Personally, my pickiness shows up in lots of ways (compounded by my individuality which has to be ‘in the mood’):
• I don’t go to most Facebook groups and have been very selective about friends
• I won’t go to most movies (so I’m better off going by myself, when I want and feel no guilt seeing either Disney, Mission Impossible, or a chick flick)
• Good luck getting me to carpool or take others to a party (for all kinds of reasons)
• Not up for gossip or political discussions
• It’s actually a fairly long list, but you get the idea
If you’re a 2nd line Profile, what are your versions?
As a kid, you may have experienced parents saying “why don’t you like x food, y place, z person?” They’d argue ‘they’re really good, tasty, popular, fun, nice, wealthy, etc.’ For 2nd lines, however, you’re only meant to eat what ‘tastes good’ to you (both metaphorically and literally). If you put something in your mouth that doesn’t taste good, you might not only spit it out, you’re likely to never eat it again (or do that thing again). That doesn’t make for the easiest or most popular kid to raise (although we know that each Profile and Type have their own challenges… more on that later).
So why’s it so important?
As you may remember… The 2nd line Profile is meant to seriously limit the things it gives its attention, energy and support to for several reasons:
• It needs to reserve itself for those things that really call it. It needs to preserve it’s energy and maintain it’s availability so it doesn’t get over-involved in or depleted by the wrong activities
• it needs to conserve its energy and attention for it’s own activities and the things it does naturally, while waiting to be seen and called for rightful opportunities. If that 2nd line being is doing the wrong things (ones that don’t call, or use its natural gifts), it will get identified with those things by others… and then be requested to do even more of the wrong activities.
For example, someone who naturally leads organizations to crucial change and new directions, but while waiting for that opportunity, takes odd jobs and develops the reputation as the best secretary, they’ll get more and more offers of the wrong work (and not understand why).
In our upcoming class, we’ll talk about the kinds of pressure that 2nd line Profiles face to say yes (you won’t believe all the ways that pressure shows up) and why people often don’t trust them when they do go along. We’ll also look at how other aspects of the 2nd line’s design make it even harder for them to say no…and the other consequences they face when they can’t. We’ll also look at how to live best with your discerning nature.
Coming up:
Next time I’ll talk about what happens when those poor folks intrude, unaware. (‘Don’t Poke the Bear’).
If you’re enjoying the conversation and want to go further into the investigation of (and sharing about) your own 2nd line Profile nature, check out joining us for the class starting September 18.
A Deep Look at 2nd Line Profiles – Those Mysterious 2’s
Begins Friday September 18th at 15:00 GMT
Click here for more information or to register.
