I’m sure you can imagine what happens when someone tries to get a poor bear’s attention by poking it with a stick while the bear’s all comfy in its cave. You can almost hear it growl, look up and bare its teeth, or worse. Sadly, 2nd line Profile people often have their own version, frequently with unpleasant consequences for the botherer. So, what’s the deal with that?
Well, as you may remember, 2nd line profiles are only meant to engage in things that call them… and there aren’t meant to be many of those. When they’re not actively engaged in activities out in the world, they are contentedly doing the things by themselves that call them (or seemingly doing nothing) or those that they can do easily and naturally on their own. They tend to get into their own ‘zone’ with those things and your interruption (the poke) does these things:
• it breaks their flow
• it distracts them
• it may confuse them (they were doing something naturally and now they have to give attention to or think about the thing you brought…and then return their attention to the thing they were usually doing without thought)
• it wastes their energy because it’s incorrect for them (can dissipate energy for the generator, exhaust the projector and the manifestor, plus make the manifestor angry)
Although your need or request can seem perfectly valid (and important) to you, the 2nd line won’t likely see it that way…and may respond in several ways:
• they may ignore you (2nd lines have enormous capacity to ignore things that don’t call)
• they may tell you not to bother them and expect you to take care of it (‘You handle it. I don’t need to know or be involved’)
• they may blow up (and the likelihood increases with integration circuitry, emotional manifesting channels, etc.)
How Do You Deal with The Secluded or Non-participating 2nd Line Person?
If you know someone’s a 2nd line person, most of your effort is well-spent upfront. Here are some tips:
• Have conversations in advance about how and when they may like to seclude, or what kinds of things they do or don’t want to be bothered for, or participate in (i.e, party invitations, mealtime, favorite programs, etc.)
• If you can see that they are going into ‘cave’ mode and you think you might need them while they’re in there, you might want to check out conditions for disturbing them.
– Want me to let you if ___ calls (or x happens)? or Any calls you’re expecting? Want me to get you?
– Any idea when you might come out?
• Notice if they are already in their cave.
– If they are, see if you can wait till they come out.
– If you can’t wait, start by taking responsibility for interrupting them and if possible, engage their S&A to see if this is a correct time and if you are willing.
– State concisely what you want/need and why they should care (if they should). For example, “I can see you’re in the middle of something (or getting some alone time, escaping distraction, etc.) and I’m sorry to disturb you. OK if I ask you something about our important project that’s due tomorrow. I’ll make this quick.” Then make it quick and beat a hasty retreat.
– If they’re upset and don’t want to engage, don’t continue (it will be seen as added provocation). You might say things like “Sorry, I’ll come back later or When’s a good time to come back?” Or “wanna come find me when you’re available?” or, even better, “Don’t worry, we’ll handle this somehow.”
– Whatever you do, don’t argue. You’ll be doing it at your own peril.
Coming Soon
In our upcoming class starting Friday, Sept. 18, among lots of other things, we’ll talk more about the various ways that 2nd line Profiles can get ‘set off,’ what makes it particularly hard for some designs (e.g., 2/4’s, certain open centers or kinds of circuitry, etc.), additional consequences to them, and how to deal most effectively with those situations.
If you have a 2nd line in your profile (2/5, 2/5, 5/2 or 6/2), would you like to join us to explore how it affects your life in these and many other ways? Would you like to share about living with your 2nd line profile… and learn from other’s too? As I mentioned in my first article, we’ll look at some of the major ways that 2nd lines behave based on groupings of similar gates. Here are a few to refresh your memory:
• how you meet (new) people–for work, to market yourself, for friends, potential mates (as well as what may go wrong and how you will deal with or end those relationships)
• how you give (to whom, to what degree), how you share
• how you focus on tasks, habits
Click here for the rest of the article.
Click here to register for
A Deeper Look at 2nd Line Profiles – Those ‘Mysterious’ 2’s
with Carol Freedman
Begins Friday, September 18th at 15:00 GMT
