It started in a way that was beyond perfection for me. Back in June, I was having a conversation with a friend who had just made plans for his vacation. He had it all planned out and it truly sounded wonderful.
“Wow. You’re going to have a lot of fun on this vacation,” I said.
“Would you like to take a vacation?” he asked. Keep in mind, by the way, that this person knows nothing about Human Design and certainly has no conscious awareness that this is the perfect way to draw me out.
“Uh huh” I respond.
“Would you like to block out time for a vacation?”
“Uh huh” I pull out my calendar and find that August is completely blank.
“Would you like to take a vacation here in August?”
“Uh huh” and I block out the first half of August.
I was actually quite stunned at how that all happened, so effortlessly and naturally, particularly given that this person didn’t know how perfect his interaction with me was. How did that happen? What does that mean? I’ve learned that some things are better left alone; allowing them to be sweet mysteries of life.
I now had 60 days to come up with some sort of plan for this vacation. I know better than trying to force something so, I simply shared with folks that I was going on vacation and waited to see what would happen. It was fascinating to witness how so many people were rather insistent that the only way to have a successful vacation was to plan the thing out to the minute; you know, to get the most out of the time. I could definitely feel my Sacral withdrawing from all of that. I knew, therefore, that detailed plans weren’t going to be coming any time soon.
One day, while talking about my pending vacation, a friend overhears the conversation and says, “Brian! We should get together for lunch and talk about this!” Many years ago, he was a professional travel agent and has numerous contacts with folks who not only have traveled the world but also have traveled locally (in Colorado). “Uh huh” I respond and we make plans for lunch in a week. A day or so before he and I have lunch, he is in an office of someone he knows and sees a book entitled “Spiritual Destinations In Colorado” and he exclaims, “Oh my gosh! I think my friend, Brian, would like to flip through this book. Can I borrow it?” His friend agrees and he brings the book to our meeting. As soon as I see this book, my Sacral leaps. “Oh ho! This is going to be a sort of spiritual kind of vacation. Okay, cool!” I had a wonderful lunch with my friend and I soon realized that all I really needed from him was the title of that book; I didn’t really even need the book. All I needed was that title pulling out of me the response of having a “spiritual journey” kind of vacation.
At this point, if I went through each and every detail of what happened, this would end up being a book. What I will say is that there was experience after experience of stuff being drawn to me that I would respond to, clarifying what my vacation was going to look like. What I came to recognize was that, for 10 days, my Sacral was going to be in absolute control. Yes, I try to do this to the best of my ability all the time and, yet, the idea of taking 10 days to be free of routines, commitments, and To Do Lists was more tempting than warm brownies straight out of the oven. I determined that the first two days and three nights were going to be a “decompressing” time to rest, let go, and shake off my day to day routine. On the third day, I woke up, took a deep breath and said to my Sacral, “Okay, now what?” The mountains were calling to me, so, off I go to the Colorado Rockies.
There are many ways to explore the Rocky Mountains and more than a few ways to become completely lost in the Rocky Mountains; a fact that my mind made sure was never far from my awareness. (Thank you, Monkey Mind). Spending 10 days completely untethered and free to do whatever my Sacral desired and responded to was something as close to bliss as I have experienced. I found myself turning on to dirt roads that led, many times quite steeply, up mountains paths where I would find amazingly beautiful and profoundly satisfying clearings seemingly made just for me, for that moment, for that day. I sat quietly in these little slices of heaven for extended lengths of time….just….being.
At some point, I was way off the beaten path and came across a little mountain town that had a population of 76. I know this because, as I drove in to town, there was a signed proudly declaring this. It was nestled in a little valley with wonderful, majestic mountains in the background. As I was slowly driving through, my head suddenly snapped to the right and I saw a motel. It wasn’t modern, by any stretch of the imagination, nor was it run down. What struck me strange was that it was two stories and looked (by counting doors) to have something in the range of 30 or so rooms. “What in the heck does a small town like this need with a big motel like that for? Half the population could live there!” Here’s the most important point; my Sacral is very clearly saying “YES!” to this place. I mean it was like Christmas morning, warm brownies, and happy puppies all rolled in to one. My mind was not nearly as excited. There I was, sitting in the parking lot of this motel, in something of a stupor. On one hand, my Sacral is saying a definite “UH HUH” to this but my mind has visions of Stephen King or Alfred Hitchcock movies running through it. “Nobody even knows where I AM, for cryin’ out loud!” After several minutes of struggle, I drive off. I mean, I….drive…..off. “Nope. Nope. Nope. I can’t do it. I just can’t do it! Too weird. Too strange. Nope. Not going to do it.” I knew, very consciously, that my Sacral response was “Yes!” to that motel. I also was extremely aware that I made an intentional and specific choice to not follow it. Did the world come to an end? Did something horrible happen? Did I die? Did my Sacral response, something that I have worked very diligently to nurture and empower over the past 7 years, shrivel up and disappear? No. None of that happened.
Have you ever been in a confined space (like a car), between your parents after they had been fighting and they are now both just sort of stewing on the issue? This is what the atmosphere was like for me for the next 50 miles until I got to a larger town with more “acceptable” places to stay. There was an awkward, uncomfortable, and “dense” feeling in the air. I’m pretty sure we Generators (and perhaps the other Types as well) have this sensation all the time when we choose opposite of our Inner Authority but we have numerous methods to push this sensation away. As I was driving around this new town, trying to get a Sacral response from any of these motels, my Sacral was quite clear (being anthropomorphic here for a moment) “Listen, pal. I’ve already made my choice. It’s back in that other town. So, you’re on your own!” I am, therefore, forced to choose a motel, mentally. I have an “okay” evening; it wasn’t that great, was a bit noisy, and I didn’t rest well — as would be pretty much expected.
The next morning, as I lay in bed, I place my hands on my Sacral and say, in my most conciliatory voice, “I’m really sorry. I know you’ve only led me to wonderful things all this time and I just couldn’t go with that one. Can we be friends?” Fortunately, my Sacral seems to have the forgiveness of a Golden Labrador so, all was quickly forgiven; I did sense, however, that I was “on notice” though.
Two days later, after having used my Sacral to almost magically and mysteriously finding the perfect little resort with small cabins to rent, I woke up wanting breakfast. I’m not a breakfast kind of guy so, this was unusual. But, I am paying particular attention to my Sacral now so, off to breakfast I go! I come to the standard big chain places and realize that what I am looking for is the place that the locals go to. That little place, off out of the way, that only the locals know about. I drive around for about 40 minutes, turning this way and that, never really knowing where in the heck I was going and suddenly, I come to this nifty little “joint” called “The Breakfast Hut” and there are many cars parked around it. “Oh HO! THIS must be the place!” I park and walk in and the atmosphere is p e r f e c t! I am seated at a table and given a menu. On the front of the menu is the story of how this place was started 50 years ago with the intention of being the place, (quoting from the menu now), “that locals would want come to and would gather at”. WHAT?? I tell my Server about my experience and she says, “Where are you staying?” I tell her and her mouth sort of drops open as she says, “That’s like 50 miles from here! And we don’t have any signs or anything to guide you. How did you find us?” “I just followed my gut” I responded very happily. The Server walked away fairly astonished and a woman in the next table over leaned to me and said, “My friends and I live in the next town over, about 60 miles away. We come here for breakfast. You definitely found THE place for breakfast.” Needless to say, breakfast was……outrageous. I don’t really like pancakes but if I had to choose my last meal, it would be pancakes from this place.
I truly could go on and on telling my tales of ten days experiencing, experimenting, and observing my Sacral response — and how my Monkey Mind opposes it. Ten days of allowing myself to simply be an Energy amongst oh so many, doing what comes natural for me, in that moment, for that moment. Upon returning home and re-entering all of the routines and To Do Lists and such of life, I am often reminded of the fact that, ultimately, the only thing that matters is my Sacral response. Fortunately for me, much of what I do, my Sacral is perfectly okay with.
And this is what I did on my Summer Vacation.